Please Break This Rule
When
our wrongs are too obvious to ignore, we practice what I call the 40/60
Rule. It goes something like this: "Well, I know I'm not perfect, and I
admit I am partially to blame for this problem. I'd say that about 40
percent of the fault is mine. That means 60 percent of the fault is
hers. Since she is 20 percent more to blame than I am, she should be the
one to ask for forgiveness." I never actually say or think these exact
words, but I often catch myself resorting to this tactic in subtle ways.
By believing that my sins have been more than cancelled by another's
sins, I can divert attention from myself and avoid repentance and
confession.
Taken from The Peacemaker: A Biblical Guide to Resolving Personal Conflict
by Ken Sande, Updated Edition (Grand Rapids, Baker Books, 2003) p. 120.
by Ken Sande, Updated Edition (Grand Rapids, Baker Books, 2003) p. 120.
Food for Thought
"Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee stood up and prayed about himself: 'God, I thank you that I am not like other men--robbers, evildoers, adulterers--or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get.' But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, 'God, have mercy on me, a sinner.' I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted."
Next time you're tempted to invoke the 40/60 Rule to minimize your part in a conflict, remember that few subjects raise more disdain in Jesus than moderated mercy or a "righteousness ranking" where we give ourselves an unequivocal first place vote.
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